My Fears

In our Literature class, we discussed a poem by Raymond Carver in which he reflected upon his fears. So, I decided to write about my own fears, those feelings that I keep only to myself.

Anyway, I think that my biggest fear right now is not finishing college this year. I have been studying English for thirteen years, and I really want to put an end to going to classes, keeping up with homework, having parciales and many other things. It is not that I believe that this is wrong or that the process of learning will come to an end after I graduate. What I mean is that for the first time ever I want to decide which books I would like to read, no matter how long it takes me. And, more importantly, being the owner of my time. For me, the educational process has always been a time of constant learning, but also of sharing the same ideals, hopes, joys, sorrows with my partners. And I am very grateful for having the opportunity to study at a college level. I hope my dream of becoming an English teacher can come true at the end of this 2007.

My other fears, I guess, are related with my own personality. And they have been inside me for a long time, and I think they won’t disappear for quite a long time. Namely, I fear not being able to fulfil all my dreams like having my own family, being happy doing what I love, not being able to finish the activities I have already started. Moreover, I fear of running away from those who love me and not being able to love them in return.

As humans, I guess we all have our fears, that I am not the only one. If what I share with you is too stupid and childish, I apologise. I just wanted to share this with those who are reading. And as in everything in our life, these fears will go away some day. And, in a way, they help me keep my feet on the ground and to know who really Silvia is, the girl that has still a lot to learn, and a lot to give.